When a girl gets married, the last thought on her mind is her happiness. She keeps her mind focused on winning the hearts of the new family she has been blessed with. Sometimes she actually gets a family which is far much more loving and caring than the one she could have ever imagined. She gets a welcome with wide open arms and she steps right into the hearts of her in-laws.
But not everyone is as lucky as the ones I just mentioned. After marriage some women realize that the door of the hearts she was planning to step is locked from the inside. Even after many attempts she doesn’t get a chance to enter and she feels heart broken about it. The tuning of the in-laws with the daughter-in law ruins when the daughter in law expects her in-laws to think of her as their daughter but they never do or sometimes they do but the girl fails to fit them into the frame of her parents.
Today we will discuss the ways with which you can peacefully co-exist with your family. I can’t guarantee no clashes or a home full of love because it is your to make, but I am sure these tips will not let you frustrate and ruin your own life.
Understand That No One Can Be Pleased Forever
There is a common problem which women face when they live with their in-laws. They keep on trying to do things to please their families. In their struggle to be the starlet, they forget that can’t keep their in-laws impressed forever. There will come a time when a simplest mistake will put them off and your impression will be ruined. And then you will blame your in-laws for it. Well, they didn’t ask you to hold the burden of impressing them. You burdened yourself and now that they dislike a few things about you, you can’t deal with it. Ladies, it’s okay if they dislike you at moments. It’s absolutely normal to have different opinions. Understand that no one can be pleased forever, not even your children.
Respect Yourself So That Others May Learn To Respect You
I have seen women who put themselves as their last priority. For instance when the food will be served, the entire family will eat first and then whatever is left, she will eat. When the ice cream is served, she gives it to everyone, leaves a little extra in the packet for any unforseen demand of one more scoop and eats the rest. Women think that these things are showing how much they care for their families but in turn these things convey a message that you don’t respect yourself enough to be a part of your family. I can understand the moments when you give up something you love for your family but habits like these convey that you don’t have any self-esteem and your in-laws catch them very soon.
Keep No Communication Gap
This is one more important thing you should take care of. When you call yourself family, then there should be no communication gap. All of the family members should be open to the things everyone is saying. It’s not a Hitler’s rule, it’s a family and everyone needs to participate in everything. You too are entitled to say what you think and feel about the things going on in the family. Just like you respect everyone else’s opinions, they should respect yours too. Your hubby should be aware of all the things which bother you. He is your partner after all, he will understand what you feel when you will communicate it in the right manner.
Make A Diary
I remember when I talk about the thing which hurt me, I often get advised with the words,”Ek kaan se sun dusre se nikal de’. Well, it seems easy to understand but it’s very hard to implement. The words which hurt you the most can’t be ignored like this. But they can’t be kept in the heart either. You have to find a way to let them out so that those quarrels don’t take away the peace of your mind. So, here’s the solution. Take a diary and write it all down when you feel sad or frustrated about something. Find a way to hide it from everyone. You can tear it down after you write it because the whole point of writing down your problems is to take them out of your mind once written on a sheet of paper, you can burn it or tear it apart. Your purpose is solved.
Make Time For Yourself
A woman dedicates her entire life for her family. Right from the moment she gets up til the time she almost passes out at night, she keeps serving one or the other member of her family. Her dedication is praise worthy but to keep doing these things without any frustration is of utmost important. So, here a little thing you can do. Everyday, find a little time for yourself. Do what you love to do the most. It can be anything from a walk, to sketching to writing poetry. The time you give to your family is yours too.