It’s just a day after the news of a Tamil CA girl who was just 25 years old surfaced. She became the sacrifice for the age old tradition of India. Dowry, a shameful tradition which claims almost 20,000 death per year, is still prevalent and we are doing nothing about it.
This 25 year old girl had her life in front of her. She was a CA, for god’s sake. She studied so hard to make herself capable of sustaining a life without anyone’s help. Then why was it that she had to die? She was brutally murdered by her father in law and his two friends. The reason was money, of course.
As per the girl’s family, the demands of her in laws kept increasing even after providing them with every single thing they asked for in marriage. 100 sovereigns of gold, Rs 15 lakh for a car, Rs 30 lakh cash and 5 kg of silver as dowry was given to Dibya at her wedding, says her brother Prekumar. And as always, the Mother in law was not happy.
“The day after the wedding, she took all the gold from Divya and started fighting with her, claiming that we had given two sovereigns of gold less than we promised. She called us, and I immediately went and bought two sovereigns of gold,” Premkumar told to the news portal, thenewsminute.com.
“We have given them money multiple times in the last four years… Once, we gave Rs 4 lakh, once it was Rs 3 lakh, once it was Rs 50,000. In total, we have given them around Rs 15 to 20 lakh over the years. Ten days ago, she came back home, saying her in-laws had now demanded Rs 10 lakh. We sent her back, saying we will try to arrange the money, but we didn’t know they would kill her for this,” he says.
Here’s the saddest part
She came to her maternal house almost 20 times to seek help. But every time she was convinced to go back to her house and assured that they will try to arrange the money. WHY?? Why would you want your daughter to be back to a house where you know the people are greedy and their demands will never come to an end.
Why Are Our Girls Not Taught To Leave Their Husband’s House If They Torture Her?
Why do we teach our daughters to bear with everything her in laws subject her to, just to make sure that she stays married? What is the worst that could happen? She would be divorced. What so horrible in that? Is it much less of a suffering than death. Independence is not just in buying your own clothes and paying your own phone bills. Independence is when you are liberated enough to take the decision which you think is best for your life.
Shouldn’t we teach our daughters to be brave enough and say this to their in laws that ‘Enough is Enough’. Why can’t we draw the line? I am not asking women to be a rebel but know where to stop taking shit. Just know that enough is enough. There are many women who suffer from depression, self loathing just because of their in laws. Why on earth would you let yourself suffer like this? Just for the sake of your husband and your child. If you will not speak up, there is possibility that your child would go through the same in his or her life.
There are laws which can help women fight for their rights. Why didn’t the girl’s family advise her to go to the police and file a case against them? She was educated enough, she would have known the laws herself.
Ladies, it’s a humble request to you all, please don’t raise your daughters to be a slave without a tongue in their mouths. You make them study, you ask them to have a career and be prepared for any adversity that life may throw their way. Don’t teach them to be cowards and give in to each and every unacceptable demand of their in laws. Teach her to respect herself too. She will respect others anyways but when she will not have any love and respect for herself, she will be put through such situations.
Be Brave Ladies, Raise Stronger Women. Give them the power to speak their minds. We can’t change the mindsets of people who are already set in their ways. But we can bring up our daughters to be so strong headed that would be prepared to deal with anything. Remember, We are not just Laxmi and Saraswati, We are Kaali too.