In many religions of our country it is said that blessed are those whose first child is a daughter. I think daughters are a blessing which many of us fail to understand. Their unconditional love, their care, their profound feelings towards their parents make them a treasure to be cherished.
But living in today’s world, I often wonder if having a daughter is safe. The joy which the parents feel when a daughter is born very soon turns to fear. They are scared when they send her off to school, they are scared to send her off to big cities for studies, they are fearful while getting her married. All of these fears arise because of the atrocities we hear everyday. The struggles women go through when they live alone, the fight they have to put up in their married life just to make a place for themselves in their husband’s home, the parity they seek in their work place and many more such things. These numerous struggles of a woman’s life are seeped so deep that there seems to be no solution. Well, we can’t change what happens in the outside world but we can change what she learns and how she deals with life.
I decided to pass on to my daughter 5 lessons of life which I want her to remember at every step.
While I was growing up I was asked to mould my self into a person who can adjust to life in any situation. While that is not a bad thing completely, I found myself turning into a person who just stopped listening to her inner voice and kept on doing things the way others wanted me to do. Things turned out fine for me but today, I wish I had the power to say ‘NO’. My life would have been a lot different if I knew where to draw the line and say ‘NO’.
This is the first lesson I would like my little darling to learn. I want her to listen to her inner voice and say ‘NO’ to the things which her heart doesn’t allow. It doesn’t matter if it is with regard to a career choice or in regard to marriage. I want her to know that she is important enough to speak her heart out. She has the power to say ‘NO’ to anyone, no matter if it is her father or her husband or her mother in law.
Failure defines your character
Just like all the mothers I want my daughter to have a life with roses laid down on her path. But my life experience has taught me that failure is very important for everyone to understand the true value of life. I want her to experience failure once and I want her to rise above it with all her might. I want to tell her that her failures will define the beauty of her character. She needs to experience failure to be able to enjoy and value success in it’s truest terms. I want her to hit the bottom, so that she can learn how to push herself to rise up again. I know this sounds heartless but I want her to be a gem of a person and experiencing both sides of life will make her one.
Learn to love yourself
This is the third lesson I would like to teach my daughter. I want her to be so much in love with herself that she should not feel lonely if she doesn’t have a company. I want to tell her that before loving anyone else she should learn to love herself. Don’t take me wrong here, I am not asking her to be selfish, I am just asking her to love herself just like she will love all the important people in her life. If she will love herself, she will value her opinions, she will make time for her happiness and it will in turn make her a happy person. Finding time to do what makes her happy will only be one of her agendas of life, if she will love herself.
I want to tell her that it doesn’t matter if she loves travelling or reading, she can always find a little time to pamper herself. This pampering will make her content and she will be a happier person.
Never Compare yourself to anyone
This is a major drawback of being brought up in a place where people are so closely associated with each other. Without knowing, people compare themselves to others and end up loosing their self respect. I just want to tell her that she is a unique person. None of her habits, none of her choices, none of her decisions are similar to anyone else. Then how can she be compared? This acknowledgement of her being a unique person in her own right will make her lead a stress free life. It won’t matter if she will find herself taking time to decide which career choice she wants to make because it won’t be a race for her. She will give herself all the time in the world to find out what she will do in her life. If she will keep comparing herself with others, she will compare her success, her failures, her milestones and many more such things. This will just lead her to cater to an element of jealousy and make her unhappy with herself. So I would teach my darling daughter to realise that she is ‘incomparable’.
Be Sincere, not serious
Well, last but not the least, I’ll teach her to do everything with the utmost sincerity. Or at least I’ll try. I want to tell her that nothing in life is worth being serious. Nothing in life is worth losing the peace of mind. The only thing which matters the most is the sincerity you have in pursuing anything you want. I’ll tell her that she has to move at least one step ahead towards her dream or a goal everyday. That one honest step will make her move towards the success she will seek. It’s just the seriousness that I would want her to avoid. The unnecessary cluttering of the mind thinking about what will happen if she fails, or what if things don’t fall in place and many other such worries. In the end it’s her sincerity which will make her happy.
I don’t know how my lovely little angel will perceive the things I want to teach her but there is one thing for sure, she will be a happy person if she will try. And her happiness is all that matters to me.